Even if your communication in other areas is just fine, talking to a partner about sex can be challenging. It’s not always easy to approach your partner and discuss something new you want to try. That can lead some people to just avoid it entirely. It can be great for your relationship if you’re able to sit down and talk about this topic. Here are a few pointers you can use.

Talk to Your Partner in a Non-Sexual Context

It’s not a great idea to talk to your partner about this stuff for the first time when you’re in the bedroom already. Your partner can feel pressured to go along with whatever you’re interested in even if your partner hasn’t had a chance to think about it. That’s not something you want to put on your partner.

Instead, sit down and talk to your partner about your interests in a non-sexual context first. It can feel weird to ask your partner directly if it’s okay to talk about this stuff, but that’ll open up a brand new type of communication you’ll be very happy to enjoy.

Invite Conversation, Not Argument

It’s important that you don’t start the conversation on a combative foot. Don’t assume your partner will think you’re “weird” or the things you’re interested in are “strange.” Your partner may be very open about it, so go into the conversation with that mindset.

Even if your partner isn’t totally sold on the concept, that doesn’t necessarily mean your partner thinks you’re weird for liking it. Different people have individual preferences and limits. Let your partner ask you questions and answer them as honestly as possible.

Know What You Like About It

A good way to start with this concept is to know why you’re interested in bringing this kink into the bedroom. What about it makes you excited? Why are you interested in sharing this part of your life with your partner?

You want to frame this as something you and your partner can love to do together. Ideally, it shouldn’t be something your partner does for you. It should be something you and your partner enjoy doing equally. When you bring up why you think that’ll be the case, your partner’s much more likely to take the conversation well.

Consider Buying Kink Toys Together

One useful way to build both you and your partner’s love of this new kink is to buy toys together. Not only do you get some fun new toys to play with next time you’re in the bedroom, but your partner feels like you’re really including them in the process.

Browsing toys online at HUSTLER® Hollywood can be a good way to grow a little closer and learn more about each other. Look through the online site or visit a store location near you to see all the different toys available and come away with something new every time.


It can feel awkward to have a conversation about kinks with your partner, but it’s important. When you commit yourself to the conversation, you’ll both feel more comfortable with your sex life than ever before. Communication can only open up good avenues, so don’t ever be afraid to approach your partner and talk about something you’re interested in.