Are you tired of feeling like every guy you ever go after is only interested in one thing? Is there even a way to date these days without making it all about sex? If you answered yes to the first question, you’ll be encouraged to know that the answer to question two is also a yes. In fact, you’ll almost always have healthier and more sustainable relationships if you proactively decide not to lead with sex.

5 Alternative Ways to Win Over a Guy

Guys might think about sex a lot, but to boil a man’s desires down to this one aspect of a relationship is to do yourself (and prospective dating partners) a disservice. Guys care about more than sex. Here’s how you can win them over:

1. Make the First Move

Sometimes a guy needs you to make the first move. And by “move,” we don’t mean anything sexual. We’re talking about showing interest. If you can show a twinge of interest (and there’s some mutual physical attraction), you can typically get him interested. If nothing else, he’ll be intrigued enough to find out more. 

The key is to be subtle with your move. You’re trying to place yourself in his path – not ask him on a date. This leaves room for him to feel like he’s chasing you – something that’s naturally programmed into men.

“The process of pursuing a new mate really drives his excitement and passion,” dating coach Liz H. Kelly says. “When he thinks your meeting is spontaneous, there’s more room for him to get to know you on his terms.”

If that all sounds a little complicated, it’s really not that difficult to execute. Just put yourself in close proximity to a guy you’re interested in and make it easy for him to pursue you.

“Men expect to do the courting, so some women have to go out on a limb subtly to make it easier for them,” Kelly continues.

2. Bond Over Mutual Interests

If you don’t want sex to be the main focal point at the beginning of a budding relationship, you have to fill that void with something else. Mutual interests can help.

Bonding over hobbies, sports teams, or business interests is a fantastic way to build chemistry, establish trust, and create a sturdy foundation upon which the rest of your relationship can grow.

3. Do Your Research

As you get to know a guy, you should use the information you learn to reach an even fuller understanding of who he is. In other words, do your research!

For example, you can find out what your partner’s zodiac sign is and then take a deep dive into the astrology behind his sign to understand what makes him tick. Simple and easy, yet illuminating. 

4. Make Room for His Friends and Family

Want to really win over a guy and get his full support? Make room for his friends and family. Meet them. Engage with them. Suggest you all host group get-togethers. Attend family gatherings. These may not be your favorite things, but they show you care. (And who knows…you might actually like his friends and family!)

5. Show Off Your Happiness

Happiness is contagious and attractive. If you’re full of joy, men will find it intoxicating. You’ll attract men who are also happy and stable, which is typically the start of a good relationship.

The key is not to act happy, but to let your genuine happiness shine through. Acting happy will often come across as overly flirtatious, which could send the wrong signal. You want to show that you’re truly happy at your core – not just putting on a show. You do this by engaging in activities that bring you fulfillment and satisfaction.

Find Mr. Right…The Right Way

The more strategic you think about dating, the better your chances are of starting a healthy relationship on the right foot. Though sex is certainly a component of many dating relationships, it’s not something you should lead with. And as antithetical as its sounds to the current dating culture, it’s probably not something you should prioritize.

If you want to find the right guy and build a healthy relationship, you must establish a strong and sturdy foundation that paves the way for future growth.