Things are getting increasingly serious between Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer. The two dined with Jennifer’s Dad, John Aniston, and his wife, Sherry Rooney, at Beverly Hills’ Polo Club yesterday.

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Star has a hilarious account of the Meet The Parents-esque meal, and boy would I sacrifice a paycheck to have been a napkin on that table (the one attached to the unused silverware set, of course). Here are a few highlights. John Mayer was acting like his usual douch-ey self. Trying very hard to be the affable comedian.

Guy Ritchie has very wisely chosen to call it a day with Madonna and not battle it out for any of her money. He will walk away from the 8-year marriage without a cent of Madonna’s $30 million fortune.

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Rather than squeeze Madge for a rent check, Ritchie would rather choose his battles and fight for a joint custody of the couple’s two sons, Rocco and David, in hopes they’ll divide their time between New York City and London.

Everyone’s favorite husband-stealer Sienna Miller was seen wining and dining with Josh Hartnett in London’s swanky Shoreditch House. Some nosy spy told The London Paper they were “talking and drinking until very late in the evening.”

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The two then got all undercover and “held hand under the table.” Uh oh! I guess they don’t want the little rendevouz getting out (too late!).

There’s something, uh, different about her latest victim. Is everyone certain he’s single? Is he secretly married? No? Wow. So she’s on a date with a single man? Hm. Mixing it up. Trying something new.

Winona Ryder was aboard a BA jet from Los Angeles to London yesterday when the crew made a “priority landing” after the actress fainted twice during the 10-hour flight. She was then rushed to a West London hospital where her stomach was pumped. Authorities believe she overdosed on Xanax pills.

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Ryder, reportedly, doesn’t like flying and took an overabundance of the anti-anxiety pills to help thwart off her inflight nervousness. Her cracked out shaking gave all the passengers a case of the spooks. One onlooker remarked.

She turned a deathly shade of pale. It was scary.”

Scary, indeed. Why do I feel like Winona is just a big, ‘ol messy mess? She’s like a washed up rocker’s wife. She probably just sits behind the drawn shades of her mansion, pops the good stuff and appears at screenings and events all wild-eyed and crazy like.

Photos: PR Photos

Jennifer Garner and her family have a creepy stalker. He’s so creepy, he’s been following her around for five years!  And then there’s the letters, the roses and the ominous message he - Steven Burky - tried to deliver in person.  It became so bad last month, she has gone to the police and gotten a restraining order against him.

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Garner says via TMZ:

Burky has shown up at her home and said, “God has sent him a vision of her being persecuted in some manner that may result in her death.”

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson had a public fight over Lindsay’s ex-boyfriend, Calum Best. Yeah, he’s a boy.  As in the boy Lindsay slept with before she hooked up full time with Samantha.  And Samantha seems to be insanely jealous whenever he is spotted or gets brought up in conversation.

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Lindsay and Samantha are in London partying it up still.  The Daily Mail caught the lovebirds in a quarrel after Calum showed up where they are partying for the second time in a row!  This is how the end of the spectacle went:

Brad Pitt sits down for an interview with Oprah Winfrey and says there will be more children! Do these people not know how to stop?  Brad last sat down with the media maven in 2004 and was mid divorce from Jennifer Aniston.  In four short years he has been divorced, attached, adopted three and fathered three children.  That’s a big change!

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Fans get to ask him questions and blah blah blah.  Here’s what he had to say via Oprah.com about kids:

Paris Hilton and Benji Madden appear to have broken up. Paris and Benji’s reps couldn’t be reached for a comment, but someone supposed to be Paris’ BFF spilled the beans.  In a big way with details of how the split went down.  I bet Paris ain’t a happy camper…

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Paris did the BFF show in London and supposedly found a new best friend.  Well, that best friend likes to talk to the media already since she knows her 15 minutes are a ticking down.  So she blabbed to Life & Style magazine:

Brad Pitt agreed to star in “Mr. and Mrs. Smith 2″ opposite Jessica Alba which is making Angelina Jolie nervous as sources close to Jolie tells Dateline Hollywood. Alba plays Brad’s new girlfriend whom he meets on eHarmony as for Jolie, the Mrs. Smith in the first film is now his ex-wife who’s defects to Iran.

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I can’t quite put my finger on it but something about this situation makes me nervous,” Angelina recently told a source in the Jolie-Pitt camp. “It’s probably nothing, though. It makes sense for Brad to do ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith 2′ with a different actress so I can stay with the kids. In a few months he’ll return home and nothing will have changed.”

Meet Ashley Alexandra Dupre, the former call-girl to ex-New York Governor Eliot Spitzer. Dupre, birth name: Ashley DiPietro and also known as Ashley Youmans and as Kristen, the name she allegedly used as a call girl. Dupre is originally from New Jersey, born on April 30, 1985.

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Melanie Brown, aka Mel B, gets to star in her own topless Burlesque show in Las Vegas next year. The show will begin in March and will also co-star Kelly Monaco.  The two announced the show at a press conference yesterday, but also said…

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…they wouldn’t be topless.  The dancers next to them all would be, but they wouldn’t.  Huh?  So how can you star in a show being billed as topless and burlesque and not be topless?

The description of the show from Broadway World: